yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
