we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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