I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
