He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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