cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
