the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
