and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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