So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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