Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
