Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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