Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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