Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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