'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
