she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
should my penis look like a turkey
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
