also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
