Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
