Yo dont text me then not text me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize