she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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