We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My ass is underappreciated
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
