This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
