That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
