he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This is the high leading the old right now
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
