I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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