So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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