i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
