I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
