the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
