i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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