you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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