how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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