It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
