im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
