ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
