Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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