Are we in a gay sports bar?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
