I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
