Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The Olympian is in my bed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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