you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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