I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
