I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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