I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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