With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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