Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
