my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
