In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
