I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
