That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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