my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
