Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize