erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I fill condoms, not promises.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
