I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
