Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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