only if we run a train.
done.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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