Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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