How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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