so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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