Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
