Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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