Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
