the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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