Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
