i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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