omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
